Working Saturdays too...

I'm so bored I can't think of anything to write.
Well then, in honor of this boring day, I am forced to do my rendition of MTV's hit show "16 and Pregnant," aka the best show on that channel, all written down for you smarties to read.

Hi. I'm a girl who is supposed to be relatable to all the viewers out there, except I'm predominantly southern in a rural area. I like to start the episode off highlighting the things I'm good at. I usually like saying things like "smart" "daddy's girl" or some kind of school activity I'm heavily involved in. but guess what? I'm pregnant. SHOCKER!

Cut to me and my huge belly that for some reason I love to show off even though it's highly unappealing.
Now my mom and I are talking about how they found out about the pregnancy, but we'll just act like it's something we normally discuss 8 months in to the term and not something the producers prodded us to talk about.

Oh, Wait! Let's not forget the man of the hour! my creepster boyfriend who is always a lot older than me and/or a highschool dropout. I love him but my family doesn't. And even though he keeps breaking up with me and cheating on me, I don't know why everyone hates him. He can be really sweet at the beginning of the episode, even though you can see in his eyes he's always looking for a way out. Now you can watch me try to keep him in the baby's life throughout the episode.

Cut to me and my friends playing with the baby clothes. Obligatory virgin friend has to ask me "so, did you use any protection?" to which I say no. Of course not! I like to tempt fate. follow this up with an eyeroll from the friend.

cut to me texting while getting a sonogram. My boyfriend was supposed to be there.

Now I'm at school. People are staring. Scandalous!

My boyfriend didn't hang out with me again. Now my faith in him is beginning to waver.

(insert a horrible sketching of the last shot of me)

Now i'm getting labor pains and I'm being shuttled to the hospital. A few more voiceovers about hours in labor, and then you see me looking horrible pushing the kid out. There are a ton of people in the room. You'd think I'd feel awkward about that. (Enter agonizing scream in here.) Then we see my baby all bloody and gross, then the camera cuts to me in a daze because of the drugs they gave me.

(insert horrible tracing of the baby and the name scribbled above. Often a made up one that I think sounds cool but it's really not.)

Now here I am a few weeks after. Having a baby is hard. You have to be around them all day long! I just want to go back to being a normal kid. This is hard. I'm going to make my mom take care of the baby. Oh yeah, and the father? I haven't seen him since he got into a fight with my mom or dad at the hospital. Wait, he just came to visit. Oh now he's off to party and leave me alone. WTF? I thought he would change into a loving and caring person once I had this kid. Why didn't that happen? I'm confused. Now I'll send him a million texts.

So now I'm all alone cause my ex-boyfriend has blocked my number. I still have to graduate, but I still have this kid. UGH! this is harder than I thought.

End with me recording myself at an unflattering angle talking about how this was not at all like I expected.
End with another horrible tracing, left on during the credits, hoping that the audience will see this episode and vow to never let themselves get pregnant in high school.

the end.

don't judge me.