"my neighborhood mailman knows how to push the envelope"-Franks McLaffs

This blows, ya'll! (that's my Britney Spears impression. Dead on, right?)

So, yeah, I'm still working, and I'm still bored, but I have nothing to write about/endlessly entertain you for hours with my witty repartee.
I was trying to post a video of a college baseball player who somersaults over the catcher to make it safe to home, but foxnews is being a bitch about sharing it. And for the record, I do not visit foxnews.com all the time. it was posted on yahoo. read that before you skin me alive.
What news do I have for you? Nothing going on with this body. wait, it joined a gym. Huzzah. I will now be 54 dollars poorer every month. but it's worth it, right? you better agree with me. Jess and I tried to be thrifty. We went in pretending to be family but that didn't work. Oh well, it was worth a try.

well, that's all. I'm off to eavesdrop on my boss's phone conversation. KIDDING. unless you're not reading this gabe. then it's all true.

Shoulda Put a Ring on It

So I have decided that it's a single ladies day today. That means I'll be posting a lot of cat videos followed by some Hugh Jackman doing what eh does best. Then you can follow it off with some wine and a Sex and the City marathon if you feel like it. I in no way support that habit, but i know that's what you do. don't lie to me francesca. funny or die doesn't have a SATC parody. I looked it up. Ya burnt!

Here's a cat using an IPad.


and here's the best one ever. I know you must have seen it but it's awesome:




Hugh Jackman Singin'


hugh jackman oscars
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Terhj8mjPwY
they won't let me post it on here.

a little bit of millionaire matchmaker too.


ok, that's enough. I've become painfully aware of how sad this is.

embarrassing: i was seated at the kids table at a party. more embarrassing: the kids knew more about the whole health care thing than me. -A.Francesca.M

This is just for my sister's sake: She is listed last on the list because I like to save up her tweets to read through every few days. it is NOT, and I repeat, NOT because it is my least favorite. if we were doing least favorites i'd probably say fmylife but you know me. By the way, a big thank you to erin for peopleofwalmart.com. it's made my co-worker and my day.

oh yeah, here's some more websites I can't believe I didn't mention:

failblog.org, because I love waching people fall, and failbooking.com because I love reading about people failing in life and love. and look up twitterbaggery. I can't remember if it is a .com or .org or if the name's in the title at all, but search it. And hipsterpuppies.com


now here's an adorable video for you:

To start off my workweek...

Here are my top things to do when I am bored at work. I hope that you try them out, and enjoy them just as much as I do.

1. Facebook, sub-section: games
     -a no brainer there. i think everyone's on facebook at least three times a day. AT LEAST. Restaurant City is fun. Petville is even better. And I'm not saying that just so I can get friend bonuses either. I'm kidding. I do want more neighbors for my Petville. Any takers?

2. textsfromlastnight.com
    -there's something about reading texts from fun-loving college students wasting their parents money on alcohol dependency.

3. awkwardfamilyphotos.com
   -the name says it all. be aware of sudden bursts of laughter coming from your mouth. May consider to send in your own if you could only find where your mom hides them.

4. sporcle.com
   -just go there. You'll love it. It's a whole bunch of quizzes.

5. thesuperficial.com
     -yes it is a celebrity blog. But it's hilarious, does not contain the bitchiness or bias that perez hilton has, and whoever writes it is brilliant. a lot of bikini/boob pictures, but he's only a human man.

6.lucillesbbq.com
     -um, never mind. that's just for me. Unless you have been to a Lucille's and miss it as much as I do.

7. fmylife.com
     -it's fun when I have done everything else. Some of it does get a little pity party table for one, but I have games with myself while I read through, such as "find the high schooler," where most posts are obvious because it deals with insignificant ordeals, like showing up to school with a stain on your shirt, or if the post is about their boy/girlfriend of one week, or if girls complain about how guys only asked them out as a dare. I also play "which one is fake?" good times.

8.Yahoo.com
     -it's where every citizen goes to find out top stories, right? I also do the super easy crossword puzzle in the games section.
9. Funnyordie.com
   -I don't go here often, because I don't want to bother my co-workers, but when I have my earphones, I do it. They do have to bear a lot of nose-laughing, but I think they just ignore it.

10. rejectedjokes.com
    -I swear to God I'm not a super stalker of this site (yet) but I suggest you go there. Ben Schwartz is an actor who's been in a lot of stuff (such as Jean-Ralphio in Parks and Rec), and it's all good, and it's all there for you to watch. For the record, I totally started liking him after I saw him in a UCB show; I am not one of the Johnny-come-latelys who saw him on tv. So, let me proceed to be smug for a second. But back off ladies. He's mine.

11. twitter.com/fuckyouistaken.
  -Yes, this is my sister. Yes, this is her twitter. And yes, she does have a questionable twitter name. But she's funny. If you have a twitter, follow her immediately. I wholly recommend her tweets, even though I do not participate in that site. I can't walk with my head held high knowing I use the word "tweet" freely.

12. amboredatwork.blogspot.com
      -what? how did this get here? weird.

KITTENS!

What a life. So I went up to Porterville for my Nonna's funeral last week, and as we drove down the dirt road on the ranch we saw a bundle of orange fluff huddled outside one of the old houses. "Kittens!" Sis and I screeched, turning once again into cat-crazy little girls who used to buy Cat Fancy magazines (Don't judge. Please. I already judge my 10 year old self). I of course hopped out of the car and raced over to look at them because I am part cat pretty much and I love seeing the new spring kittens when I go up to my Nonna's. it's been a few years since we've had kittens, and even though we can't bring any more home, it's nice to look. Sadly, it's normally the last time we see those kittens because they're usually the victims of malnourishment, dogs, coyotes, or owls. Ranch cats have a hard life. So I ran over and saw two babies, barely three or four weeks old sitting in the sun. Since they're too young to be weary of me I picked them up but I couldn't stay for long because we had a viewing and rosary to get to. I left them in the flowers as they tried to return to under the house where their mother probably put them.
The next day I noticed the beat up male cats staring at a bush where I found said kittens. I went over and found the babies again. They were out and about, which is not normal for really young animals. Now if you know me, you know that I freak out about anything that can't defend itself, so i pushed them back to the opening of the house so they'd be safe. After the funeral, they were out again, huddled together. this time, when I approached they started crawling towards me, crying. I was beginning to realize that their mother was most likely dead.  ferile or not, they're very protective, and she would have moved them to a completely different place if she saw us holding them or even smelled us on her babies. So Sis and I decided that we were taking things in our own hands now. The mom was definitely gone, so we borught them into the house, made up a box for them, then searched for an open store to look for droppers to feed them with.
My Aunt Kathy confirmed the next day that their mother was found by some ranch hands on Tuesday night. She had been killed by some dogs that ran through. So we brought the kittens home with us and they currently reside in our guest bathroom. They are adorable and fun and we're not keeping them. We are going to be the foster parents until they're old enough to go to a new home. It's definitely a challenge. We have never had to worry about our kittens before because we've always had the moms there, but now we're the moms. Thankfully, they're almost old enough to start eating solid food, which is a relief because I don't enjoy going to bed late and getting up super early to feed them. I'm back to my highschool sleep patterns. I don't know how I managed back then.

Wow. So that was a very detailed story. i hope it was exciting. It probably wasn't, but oh well. Here are some pictures of the little guys.

cheers.

I know, I know...

I suck at this blogging thing. Mainly because I only write when I'm bored, and I get bored a lot, but the thing is I also have a boring life, therefore nothing to write/rant about. Unless it's about tv. And I need to stop doing that because it just makes me realize that the only thing I'm passionate about enough to state my public opinion on is television. And theater, particularly high school theater. so, yeah.

But I guess I'll talk about movies now. Ohh wooow. Such a different topic.

But I was watching Mary Poppins on tv yesterday (like you weren't) and I remembered that I didn't like that movie when I was little. I know, it had songs and everything. But even though it is a child's film, I needed to be a little older to get it. That happens a lot with me. I dismiss things that I don't like, and don't even bother to come back some time later and try again. Certain experiences in life affect how I react to everything. That's why I kind of want to go back and reread the books I was forced to read in highschool and even junior high. Most of them I hated, and some were super boring (Elmer Gantry) but some I just didn't understand, so it was boring to me, and then I hated the book, especially after having to analyze it then write an essay reiterating the same things we discussed in class but in our own words. What a way to make reading fun.

But growing up does helping you better understand things. For instance I read To Kill a Mockingbird in seventh grade. Not bad. I liked it. Then, out of boredom when I was 18, I picked it up again and my mind was blown away. I missed so much the first time i read it. I caught historical references I didn't learn about until high school, and just a better understanding of the times and the whole case of the trial in the book.

And the thing with Mary Poppins is that I didn't quite get why people started floating in the air when they laughed or how adorable and handsome Dick Van Dyke was back then or how young Julie Andrews really was in that movie...Or the whole point of the film. That's what I meant to say.

But also, you could watch a movie you loved way back when and open your eyes to how bad it was. I've done that so many times (Sister Act 2?  what comedy gold did I find in that movie?) as well as books. Nancy Drew, I am ashamed at how simple your plots and wording are. And why are you so freaking perfect? What about some character flaws Nance? You're too curious? oh come on.

I guess I just think that everything in life deserves second chances. And maybe some people too. Maybe. Carlos Mencia? no. Dane Cook? HELL no.

insert bored face here

It's almost 4. I bought sour patch kids from Rite-Aid. They continue with their never ending streak of causing me great happiness and pain when I eat them. Same with tooth whitening. No wait never mind that's just painful.

I am glad it's Thursday friend. I've got plans tonight. And by plans I mean I'll be home alone, probably drinking wine (it's the only thing I can drink alone and still feel classy while doing so), watching my shows on the tellie, and eating chicken nuggets. It's every six-year-old alcoholic's dream.

Don't feel sorry for me yet. I will probably be cleaning beforehand.

Aaaaaand now you can feel sorry for me.
But it's cool. I'm ok with it. It's just preparing me for life when I become a crazy cat lady who yells at the neighborhood kids. Why do I yell at them? Well, my family has a history of getting crotchity as they age plus those damn kids were probably messing with my flower beds.

In other news, I feel that I need a nemesis. I don't know why that has suddenly popped into my head. it might be because I've been watching a lot more of "Be Good Johnny Weir" and his constant mention of how much he hates Evan Lysachek. I used to have one when my older sister was dating a guy who wanted to change his last name to Wolf because he loved the animal so much, but he wasn't worthy of my ire. He also couldn't handle himself in a battle of the bits, and I'm saying that in the kindest way possible.
But now he's gone, and I have no one. Any takers?

Ok, the sugar might have definitely been responsible for this crazy ass post. Yeah, I'm putting full blame on the Sour Patch Kids. There is not one drop of sweetness in their boneless bodies.